Love,Lust and Loathing

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SOLD. In private collection

At times I have lusted after someone, making myself believe it to be love and pursued the object of my desire to ultimately attain an orgasm! And the next morning, waking up beside that desirable body, loathed every inch of that flesh, its odour and touch! So many times I have loved someone and afraid of a commitment, made them believe it was only lust on my end and manipulated them to loathe me for being such a bitch! How many times we all have sacrificed our love for one night of pleasure and gratification with another and regretted for being reckless and uncaring? Love, lust and loathing are eternally entwined in our lives and they cause the deepest imprints on our psyche. To feel all these emotions, even the undesired ones are what make us human. There is a song I used to rewind and play quite often when I was younger, now gathering dust somewhere, whose words still linger around me like an avenging spirit-

I always said that I would make mistakes

I’m only human and that’s my saving grace

I fall as hard as I try

So don’t be blinded

See me as I really am

I have flaws and sometimes I even sin

So pull me from that pedestal

I don’t belong there

One thing is clear

I wear a halo

I wear a halo when you look at me

but standing from here

you wouldn’t say so

you wouldn’t say so if you were me