Salvation

 

20x30 inches; Pen and ink over graphite pencil on tinted drawing paper (Click on image to enlarge)

You peddle salvation

As if, you own an infinite source

To supply the instant high!

Have you inherited it as an heirloom?

Always promising a recourse

To the lost soul in distress,

As if, you have the precious road map

With the only route clearly marked

To lead them out of this mess.

What gives you such confidence?

Who appointed you the guide?

I wonder…

Does a particle of dust find salvation

Just by clinging to your hide?

Yes, I know,

We are gullible

Marinating in our sins,

Fermenting with guilt

We are fallible,

Easily herded like sheep

Seeking safety from imagined wolves,

Settling down meekly

For a life of servitude.

No, you are beyond reproach

For we are to blame!

We put you on a pedestal

With our fears and our faith,

To avoid being responsible for

Our own lives and deeds,

To find shortcuts to repentance

And forgiveness for being bad seeds.

If a dip in the Ganges

Can wash away my sin,

Why bother mending my ways?

Let the waters bear the poison

While I remain conveniently pure and clean!

Otherwise, Straight Acting...

 

20.5x28.5 inches; Pen and ink, acrylic paint over graphite pencil on drawing paper (Click on image to enlarge)

Desires cannot be regulated by external forces through enforced conditioning of gender performance and expectation. If the gay dating apps were to hold up a mirror to the society, this failure would be more than apparent. Many gay men describe themselves or is described by others as ‘Straight Acting’ which simply means that this person is ‘Manly’ enough or doesn’t have the tell-tale behavioural markers of being gay. He is not a limp wristed, lisping, willowy, and flamboyantly effeminate homosexual! But it is acting, nevertheless! It is a performance put up to pass as a ‘heterosexual’ man in the cock-eyed surveillance of our society’s stereotypes and standards of judgement! A performance to remain undetectable as gay in the public eye. How they perform in the privacy of a more enabling space can be otherwise. A space where inhibitions and judgements are rare, many of these men can drop the act and be more attuned to their desires and behave accordingly. This constant performance of suppressing desire in the public eye has to be acknowledged and applauded with the cautionary tale of how this affects the psyche of the gay men constantly living in fear of being ‘found out’. 

Tthikri

 

28.5x20.5 inches; Pen and ink, acrylic paint over graphite pencil on drawing paper (Click on image to enlarge)

Clap! It is no ordinary clap but an entire performance all in itself. The action of bringing the palms of the two hands together to spark off that distinctly identifiable sound reverberating through the surroundings is not easy and clearly needs practice. The clap of a Hijra is called a ‘Tthikri’ by the Hijra community, in their own lingo. This clap announces their existence, their entry into a space. They perform their ritualistic routines accompanied by the beat of these claps. The clap resounds with the history of their lineage, heavy with cultural baggage. It is the music they sing and dance to. It can symbolize a spectrum of emotions from anger to mirth. It can be used as a punctuation or lend extra weight to a curse. It can be decisive or flirtatious. It can be friendly or a nonviolent attack on prejudice. What it is not, is frivolous! It won’t be ignored. The symbolic strength of the ‘Tthikri’ has been adopted by many within the LGBTQ+ community to break down the oppressive societal bindings of class/caste hierarchies and unsanctioned desires. The ‘Tthikri’ denies to be shamed into silence.