20.5x28.5 inches; Pen and ink, acrylic paint over graphite pencil on drawing paper (Click on image to enlarge)
Desires cannot be
regulated by external forces through enforced conditioning of gender
performance and expectation. If the gay dating apps were to hold up a mirror to
the society, this failure would be more than apparent. Many gay men describe
themselves or is described by others as ‘Straight Acting’ which simply means
that this person is ‘Manly’ enough or doesn’t have the tell-tale behavioural
markers of being gay. He is not a limp wristed, lisping, willowy, and
flamboyantly effeminate homosexual! But it is acting, nevertheless! It is a
performance put up to pass as a ‘heterosexual’ man in the cock-eyed
surveillance of our society’s stereotypes and standards of judgement! A
performance to remain undetectable as gay in the public eye. How they perform
in the privacy of a more enabling space can be otherwise. A space where inhibitions
and judgements are rare, many of these men can drop the act and be more attuned
to their desires and behave accordingly. This constant performance of
suppressing desire in the public eye has to be acknowledged and applauded with
the cautionary tale of how this affects the psyche of the gay men constantly
living in fear of being ‘found out’.
